I'm sitting in my bedroom in front of a huge picture window watching the sun shine on the glistening snow in our pasture. The cows are out there...somewhere, most likely hiding from the wind in the trees along the side of the house. I'm sipping my coffee having completed a morning of just a few hours of work, a phone chat with my mom, and a short cardio workout. This is my life and I can hardly believe it.
This morning, my husband's alarm went off at 6am and by 6:30 he was out the door for a long day of work...outside...in the cold. When his alarm went off I moaned but he didn't. No, he quietly got up and asked "do you mind if I turn the light on?"
I was still half asleep and all I could say was "I don't know how you do it." and he walked to my side of the bed, bent down, put his scruffy face next to mine and whispered in my ear, "I do it for you."
His words washed over me like a flood of clean fresh water, like the sun after a rainy day and I felt the way you feel when you put a fresh out of the dryer blanket around you - warm and safe.
He does this for me.
For me he wakes up when it is still dark to go to a job that will have him on his feet working hard all day with hardly even a break. His legs will hurt, his back will hurt, his whole body will be cold, but he crawls out of bed and serves me by leaving to go to work every day.
He has no idea how powerful his words were this morning, how they have danced at the back of my mind all day making me feel cared for and loved, or just how happy the thought of him doing that for me is. I haven't missed for a moment the pressure of providing for myself by going to work every day. With each passing moment I am more and more aware of the fact that I wasn't ever going to find contentment in rushing off into the world to build my own career. I was made to be here in this place, on this land with these cows and the cat that makes me crazy. I've made myself weary trying to be something I'm not and suddenly, in this quiet old farm house, I am more content than I ever imagined possible. Here in this place I have the opportunity to make this house our home, to paint the walls and hang the curtains and fill it with love, and joy, and all things good. When my husband drives up the snow covered drive way tonight he will be welcomed to a warm, clean home. A place where he can rest. A semi-decent meal and most important a wife who hopes to never take for granted how blessed she is to have the husband she has, a man who does this for her.
