All Of A Sudden

I woke up this morning with this song on my mind...

"He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy. When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me."

This week my Jesus has so perfectly reminded me of His amazing, sufficient, and perfect love - a love that is mine. This love, when it is my heart's focus, causes all else to fade into the background. All else dims in the light of His amazing heart for me and there my heart finds rest. As the song says, "All of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me."

As a woman who desires so desperately to be delighted in there is such rest here in this place, where His love is beyond enough.

All of a sudden, I am unaware...

The brokenness of yesterday is forgotten. The rejection is replaced with the knowledge of His unfailing love, how He tirelessly pursues me until I am all His. The images of backs turned and love walking away erased by the picture He paints in my mind of His arms stretch out - open for me. The lies of insecurity crushed by the security found anchored to His grand design of me. The eyes He finds beautiful because He made them beautiful. The smile He delights in because He created it just the way He likes. The freckle on my neck and crinkle in my ear all a part of His magnificent master plan for Tiffany, the woman He died for.

And then, all of a sudden, I am unaware...

Of the mundane daily tasks of life I so often find discouraging. This job so contrary to all He designed me to be is suddenly a gift, a reminder of His provision. This long drive to and from work a meeting place, a time for my thoughts to dwell on my Jesus, to marvel at His creation, and worship.

The empty apartment, the quietness of this place no longer painfully void but an opportunity to be still, to hear His Spirit whisper to me. In this quiet I hear Him sing over me, I literally feel His presence. He is here, He is love, He is mine.

Those dark nights when fear is overwhelming and sleep is lost in memories. When I long to know that the one I miss is beside Him. He is love, even then, always beside me. His words faithful to remind me, "Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life" (John 3:36) and the darkness fades and in a way I could never describe, I am at peace and I know that he is with my Jesus.

And these afflictions, however great or small, no matter how petty or seemingly insignificant are eclipsed - entirely overshadowed by HIS glory, HIS love, HIS faithfulness, by HIM. In that moment they are forgotten and I sink into His strong arms and He is enough.

All of a sudden, I am unaware...

Of how this life could be any different. How could I dream of anything but this? I marvel at how perfectly He knows me, of how He has so wonderfully orchestrated my life to bring me to this place where I have let go and He holds fast to me. This place where He is enough.

Suddenly my prayers for change turn to prayers of praise. I am no longer asking to be taken from this place but begging for Him to stay, for more moments like this, for His perfect will, for nothing to stand in between us.

His love so complete and so impossible to describe....oh how He loves...