You know that verse in Proverbs that starts out "A godly wife who can find?" Well that verse has been on my brain a lot - only I change it to say "A godly man who can find?" because to be honest, a true man of God seems hard to find. Now when I say "hard to find" I mean completely impossible. Alright...alright, slight exaggeration there, but I'm beginning to think this brand of Christian has been sold out. I can't tell you how many times I've looked friends in the eyes and told them how it is honest to goodness impossible to find a man who is in fact sold out for the Lord.
Now this might seem shocking to many of you, because there are so many nice young men around. They show up in church in their button up shirts and designer jeans, bibles in hand ready to worship. But let's be real, it is about way more than button up shirts and bibles. I mean, don't get me wrong, I want my man to come to church and look nice. I want him to actually listen to the sermon and pull a bible out to read when we are instructed to. I'd like him to do more than stand, hands in pockets, during worship. However, I'd really like a man who cracks open that bible on a - wait for it- daily basis. Is it too much to ask for a man who might actually utter a prayer in the middle of the week that involves more words than Thank you, Lord for this meal???
Sometimes I get the impression I may be asking too much, perhaps I've set the bar too high?
Seems to me most single men are more concerned with building their muscles than they are building their relationships with Jesus. I mean, I've encountered some rather good looking men who have all the time in the world to go to the gym and lift weights, but can't seem to find the time to read their bible, pray, or cultivate God honoring relationships with other godly men. Don't get me wrong, I like a guy with muscles as much as the next girl, but I'd take Chandler Bing over Channing Tatum if the words he spoke were coming from a heart filled with the Holy Spirit.
Now I'm not sure if you have heard, but I'm 30 and the guys who are asking me out are, well...they aren't 18. And some of them, not all of them (so if you are reading this and you have asked me out, don't freak out), are asking themselves and now me, why they are still single. This is actually not a cool question to ask the woman you've decided to take for coffee, but since you asked...stop asking that! Goodness! First of all, there are about five million reasons why you might be single, and if it is really bothering you why don't you stop playing the desperate card and start doing the work of making yourself ready for marriage. I'm finding it to be an incredibly difficult process. When done properly, the Lord gets all up in your business and starts messing with things you'd rather He not mess with. I discovered that just because I show up at church in my high heels and scarves with my bible ready to worship doesn't actually have a single thing to do with the state of my heart before the Lord. Turns out, there is this messy business of dealing with past sin and past hurt, letting go of selfishness and pride, learning how to make Jesus a part of my every day life, and giving up my own wants, needs, desires, hopes, and dreams so that HE can have HIS own way with me. This is messy business indeed. I'm not saying I have it all figured out, I'm just saying you might want to consider making this a focus.
You may be asking, since I am apparently now talking to my single male readers...which I'm not really sure are a part of my blog traffic..."I'm working on my relationship with Jesus, but why can't I find a nice girl to date me?" Might I suggest you stop saying things like that too? If you really need a project to focus on, let me suggest putting your focus on growing up. I'm talking about doing things like getting a job, getting out of debt, throwing away the clothes you wore in high school, cleaning out your car, learning to do your own laundry, learning to cook, cleaning your bathroom, taking down your Matrix posters and putting up grown up wall decor. Don't panic. She is out there, but most of the solid christian women I know would really rather go out with a guy who is willing and able to pay for her meal without complaining about it.
Now, finally, since it is after 4am and I'm thinking I should be able to get an hour of sleep tonight, can we all just agree not to worry about all of this? I'm discovering that at every failed relationship or at the end of every bad date is often this feeling of discouragement and fear that it is never going to work out. Looking back, I can honestly say that I am grateful to the Lord that all of my past relationships and past attempts at relationships didn't work out. Every experience has been used by God to do that messy work I was talking about earlier - to refine me and make me more like the woman He wants me to be. If I really believe that God is sovereign, that He is in fact in control, then I need to recognize that it is only because my sight is limited that I feel there are no longer any truly Godly single men left in this world. God's got it. In fact, He has known from before the start of time who I would marry. He's just busy doing the messy work in my heart and his before He brings us together. I pray every day for that man, whoever he is, that God refine and shape him into just the right man for me.
I'm not going to pretend I'm perfect, but I do think I deserve a man who's heart is sold out for Jesus, and I refuse to settle for anything less.
No comments:
Post a Comment