This verse has been brought to my attention multiple times in the last week. Most recently in church tonight as we worshiped together and celebrated Christ's resurrection, His victorious triumph over death, when His life was offered in place of mine, when He became sin so that I might have eternal life and a relationship with my Heavenly Father.
The words have been in my mind periodically for the past several days, and tonight I can't stop thinking about the importance of seeking first the kingdom of God. Who is Lord of my life? Who is my king? Who do I look to for security and meaning? All of these questions rolled through my mind this evening, and like any good Christian woman, I answered "JESUS!" Yes, Jesus. But is He truly Lord of my life, King of my thoughts, my actions, my emotions, my motives? Am I truly seeking first HIS kingdom or am I motivated by my own desires, my own goals, my own needs?
Convicting.
Think about it for a moment..."seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness..." I can't do it, not on my own. No matter what Tiffany gets in the way. My needs, desires, motives...they really aren't all that bad. It is actually perfectly normal for a 28 year old single woman to desire to be married, to want children, to want to love and be loved...."But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness..."
Convicting.
If there was a formula I would give it to you. If I understood exactly how to release "me" I would share it with you. Truth is, I don't really have the answer. All I know tonight is that my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night out to be on God, His kingdom, His righteousness...Him alone. My focus shouldn't be my career, a husband, or any other seemingly important "thing." My focus ought to be nothing less than Christ, to be doing all that He calls me to do. Living moment by moment in the victory of His resurrection, dying to myself so that others will see Christ in me.
So I lay it all aside, all those wants, needs, motives...all of it. Surrendered to my King, Jesus. Who is the only King who will never disappoint, never fail, never leave, never make a mistake. He is trustworthy. He paid the ultimate sacrifice so that I might know Him. He gave His life so that I could have these very thoughts tonight. Because He lives I must live for Him.
My life is an ongoing example of what it looks like to surrender everything to Jesus, to take it all up again and struggle in my own strength, only to surrender again, beginning the same process over and over again. Truth is, the Christian life is all about surrender and it has to be done over and over, moment by moment. Why? Because I'm human, because I'm Tiffany.
He is faithful to continually draw me to Himself....to so lovingly call me to be obedient to Him.
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