Good Things

Tonight I am in a quiet and painful place, as I find myself at the feet of Jesus completely broken. I'm not here because I made a poor decision or mistake. I am here because the Lord decided for this moment, for this time, crumbled at His feet is exactly where He wants me to be.

I am watching my own hopes and dreams, goals, and ambitions one by one taken from me. Not in a mean, malicious way but in a loving, "this is what is best for you" way. Like when a parent purposefully doesn't allow their child to do something they so desperately want to do, able to see what is truly best for their child even when their child doesn't recognize it.

I am that child. 

I have been told so many times "God wants only good things for you." The assumption is that He intends only good for our lives. Happy moments are from God and those sad moments must be Satan attacking. What if those sad moments were ordained by God? What if He allowed or even welcomed difficult times for His children? Would you be willing to accept even those difficult times as from a loving, Heavenly Father?

This place would be unbearable if this was not the case. If I did not believe that God is Sovereign, that all things that happen in my life pass through His hands, that He is constantly at work in my life - even in those difficult to understand situations. 

He has allowed it. He wants me crumbled in a ball at His feet. This sweet place of surrender is where He intended me to be. Oh the hurt is deep and so difficult to understand, but this place is so sweet. As I rest at His feet I recognize that His love is by far the greatest. Would I have been able to recognize this had He not allowed this hurt? 

Yes, I believe God has good things in store for me, but not at the expense of knowing Him in a deeper way. He must first refine me. 

"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."  1 Peter 5:10

It is for His Name that He refines me with affliction. He is most glorified when I am broken. Though He does not leave me in this place, but promises to restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish me. 

This is a promise.

I will hold Him to it, but I know already He is keeping it. 

Yes, I wish being a Christian meant only happy wonderful things in life. This just isn't reality. However, I refuse to think any less of my Heavenly Father because of the sad times in life. In fact, I see Him even better through my tears. His love is overwhelming. He has not left me alone to hurt or suffer. He has provided me a Helper, the Holy Spirit, who intercedes on my behalf. In those moments when the pain may be too deep for words. When I feel confused or uncertain, He overwhelms me and meets my every need. 

This is the place He has allowed me to walk to...so here I will sit. I will not deny my own feelings or hurt or confusion, but I will also not deny that He is who He has promised. His love never fails. He brought me here and He will carry me every step of the way. 

There is good even in this hard place.