The Laundry Basket

It often sat at the end of our bed, full of the husband's unmentionables. I set it there so he would know it was time to put his clothes away. I had washed them, dried them (well the machine did most of that) and kindly folded them. Literally all he needed to do was PUT THEM IN A DRAWER no more than 3 feet away. 

He rarely did. 

The basket would sit there and sit there and he would just take what he needed from it. Sometimes, I'd even REFILL the basket and put it back at the end of the bed. My goodness!

He still wasn't putting his clothes away.

No big deal, I thought. It really didn't bother me all that much and I wasn't his SLAVE. Certainly he could, at the very least, put them in the dresser. 

Sometimes, when it did start to rub on a nerve, I'd move the basket to his chair or his side of the bed. It's hard to miss there because he would need to move it in order to sit in his chair or get into bed. (subtle, aren't I?!)

So he'd move it....to the end of the bed. 

And once in a while we would laugh..."oh, you want me to put this away, don't you?" he would say. 

Well, yes, sweet husband. Would you mind putting your OWN clothes away? After all, I washed them, dried them AND folded them...

And then it happened. I was sitting in my own chair right across from the end of the bed (and the laundry basket) reading my bible (what a good wife I am). And that basket, in the corner of my eye, was completely ruining the ambiance of my nice clean bedroom. The bed was made, the room was clean, and the laundry basket was becoming an eye sore. How could I Instagram a picture of my quiet time with this monstrosity in the background?!?

Then I had the most ridiculous thought - "Why don't YOU put it away?" 

WHAT! ME! I've already established I am not the husband's slave. I cook and clean and keep this house, the very least the man can do is put away his own underwear!

And then I heard the Holy Spirit whisper as He will often do, "Aren't you supposed to SERVE him? After all, he's off serving you right at this very moment...."

Honestly!?!? Conviction. 

Here was an opportunity to die to myself and become like Christ - to serve - by putting away my husbands unmentionables. Granted, it isn't the most glamorous way to serve, but it is serving none the less. 

I immediately thought of that verse in Philippians (probably the Holy Spirit again) where it says, "Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking on the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men." (Philippians 2:5-7) 

That phrase, "taking on the form of a servant" really stuck out to me. Here I was refusing to be the husband's "slave" all while I am called to serve him just as Christ serves the church. To put his needs before my own, etc, etc. 

My only hope of a beautiful marriage is if I become more like Christ. And my only hope of that is if I humble myself and put my husband before myself. Day after day I beg God to help me do it and then I fold the laundry and put it in a basket at the end of the bed. All while thinking I'm justified because I'm not his servant...but in reality, I am.

So, that day I put his laundry away and I have ever since. It's such a small, almost pointless task but it taught me something big.

It only took him a few loads of laundry to notice the basket was gone.  I know if I put the basket at the end of the bed again he would eventually put his clothes away, but today I have the time and the ability to do it for him.

So I will.

PS: For those concerned, the hubs in no way treats me like his slave and is much better at imitating the humility of Christ than I am!

I Do This For You

I'm sitting in my bedroom in front of a huge picture window watching the sun shine on the glistening snow in our pasture. The cows are out there...somewhere, most likely hiding from the wind in the trees along the side of the house. I'm sipping my coffee having completed a morning of just a few hours of work, a phone chat with my mom, and a short cardio workout. This is my life and I can hardly believe it.

This morning, my husband's alarm went off at 6am and by 6:30 he was out the door for a long day of work...outside...in the cold. When his alarm went off I moaned but he didn't. No, he quietly got up and asked "do you mind if I turn the light on?"

I was still half asleep and all I could say was "I don't know how you do it." and he walked to my side of the bed, bent down, put his scruffy face next to mine and whispered in my ear, "I do it for you."

His words washed over me like a flood of clean fresh water, like the sun after a rainy day and I felt the way you feel when you put a fresh out of the dryer blanket around you - warm and safe.

He does this for me.

For me he wakes up when it is still dark to go to a job that will have him on his feet working hard all day with hardly even a break. His legs will hurt, his back will hurt, his whole body will be cold, but he crawls out of bed and serves me by leaving to go to work every day.

He has no idea how powerful his words were this morning, how they have danced at the back of my mind all day making me feel cared for and loved, or just how happy the thought of him doing that for me is. I haven't missed for a moment the pressure of providing for myself by going to work every day. With each passing moment I am more and more aware of the fact that I wasn't ever going to find contentment in rushing off into the world to build my own career. I was made to be here in this place, on this land with these cows and the cat that makes me crazy. I've made myself weary trying to be something I'm not and suddenly, in this quiet old farm house, I am more content than I ever imagined possible. Here in this place I have the opportunity to make this house our home, to paint the walls and hang the curtains and fill it with love, and joy, and all things good. When my husband drives up the snow covered drive way tonight he will be welcomed to a warm, clean home. A place where he can rest. A semi-decent meal and most important a wife who hopes to never take for granted how blessed she is to have the husband she has, a man who does this for her.